WCSD Board of Education Generously Revised Next Year’s Schedule Yet Again
At the Community Forum on March 26th, the Williamsville Central School District Board of Education made more changes to an already-amended calendar for next year. In the latest version, the board added some more days that we will have off next year. And now, after even more additions, it is as if we don’t really have school at all.
Extreme Ironing Teams are Coming to East
It’s official—the Williamsville East athletic department has announced that East will be adopting New York State’s new school sport, extreme ironing, starting in the winter season of the 2024-2025 school year.
A Titanic Announcement: Leonardo DiCaprio Finally Dates Woman Above 25
It’s truly a Titanic romance! Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet are officially reunited, but this time, they’ve finally announced that they’re dating!
#speednap: The Race to Snooze Causing Scores of Snores
TikTok trends are no stranger to the school environment. A new trend has swept through the East hallways:
"#speednapping.”
It’s Official: Mrs. Lanzone is Coming Back!
East’s beloved English teacher Mrs. Lanzone is returning to East for the 2024-2025 school year, following a year of teaching 7th graders at Heim Middle School. She will be teaching AP English Language, English 10A, and English 11A, much to the delight of suffering AP Lang students across the grades!
East Adds New Language Class: Pig Latin
In light of growing recognition for all cultures and languages, East has decided to add one of the most profound, enlightening languages of the world to the classes offered in the year of 2024-2025.
East, You Lost Your JDD and Prom Rights
In a heartbreaking and unexpected announcement, East’s administration has recently announced that both the beloved Junior Dinner Dance (JDD) and Senior Prom have been canceled for this school year. This news comes in the wake of an increase in use of a vape-able caffeine called Celsi-vape and the cost of repairing the plumbing connected to three of the boys' bathrooms. Both reasons are unrelated but contributed to the decision.
To Caffeinate or Not to Caffeinate — That Is the Question (And Mr. Huber...
Our very own beloved Mr. Huber has started a Caffeinators Anonymous Club for recovering caffeine addicts (“and those who may be in denial about their consumption rate.”)
Redmond 2024: Dr. Redmond’s Bid for Presidency
Fear him or love him, East teacher Dr. Redmond will be running as an Independent candidate in the 2024 general presidential election.
Mr. Belling to Resume Hollywood Career
After 24 long years, Mr. Belling has announced that he will be going back to Hollywood, Los Angeles, California, to start editing movies and TV series again after the close of the 2023-2024 school year. He has stated that the resolution of the Hollywood strikes in late 2023 was the final push of inspiration he needed to make this career jump back to film.