Street Dance Troupe Performs in East Amherst Neighborhoods (April Fools Edition)

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Waste Management. Source: Mack MR/Leach 2rII Garbage Truck

By Leonardo Yana Romero

https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Mack_MR_Leach_2rII_Garbage_Truck_(15808528062).jpg

On Tuesday, March 23rd, East Amherst residents woke up to the clatter of the garbage trucks and the electric pulse of Moldovan Eurodance music. Many reported that a troupe of garbage disposal workers broke into dance as they collected the week’s garbage. In an official statement from the local Waste Management supervisor Gregory Greg III, the dancers were identified as employees of the firm who belong to a local dance group known as Ronnie and the Beans, who are preparing for their America’s Got Talent audition this summer.

“I know Ronnie and some of the other members personally can say that they pose no threat to the community,” said Greg during the question and answer portion of the Waste Management press conference. Some residents have been receptive to the dancing troupe. “I really don’t see what’s too bad about it. I think this whole pandemic has wound everyone so tight; some dancing music in the morning seems like a great way to lift everyone’s spirits,” said Susan Wilde, a mother of two. However, other residents hold contrasting views. “Not here—not there—not anywhere near my petunias,” stated local plant activist Rosita Rodriguez, “I say the music and the dancing is for sure—without a doubt—the reason why my milk cartons somehow ended up on the other side of the street.” 

“While I can see how someone could see their antics as being disruptive, I understand that there’s been a lot of pressure on them since being turned away by America’s Got Talent for five years in a row. Nothing’s been the same since last time when Simon Cowell brought Ronnie to tears after telling him that the group’s interpretation of “Thriller” was ‘tasteless’,” explained Greg.

“Recently, we’ve been preparing a dance number set to the music of the early 2000’s Moldovan Eurodance trio O-Zone; me and the Beans really think this’ll be the year we finally break through, ” Ronnie briefly commented. When asked why the group insists on practicing while on the job, Ronnie said, “Wait till this summer; then you’ll see; they’ll all see.” Fans of the group speculate that Ronnie plans to incorporate aspects of their day-to-day garbage disposal jobs into their upcoming audition. 

As for the immediate consequences of their unorthodox practice schedule, Greg has reached an agreement with certain neighborhoods to allow Ronnie and the Beans to continue practicing while picking up garbage. Later this spring, Greg hopes to use the group’s talents to encourage more people to correctly sort their recyclables.

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