Honoring This Year’s Retirees! (April 1st Edition)

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By Colleen Meosky

As we head into the fourth marking period, it’s important to remember that this is the final lap of the teaching careers for three beloved members of our Williamsville East faculty. For their dedication and services to our school, Williamsville East arranged for grand send-offs into their respective retirements. 

For the heart and soul of the music department, a 190 foot marble statue of our beloved band teacher, Dr. Shewan, has been constructed to recognize his 190 years of service to this school. The Music Boosters were able to commission Michelangelo’s great, great, great, great, great, grandson’s nephew’s half-cousin twice removed to do the job, who just so happens to be sophomore Jonah Ruddock. Man, does that family keep thorough records!

The Klein turkey will be in attendance to administer a great honor: the ceremonial first bird droppings. The East administration is grateful for the community’s overwhelming support for the tribute, with special thanks to the math department for their generous contribution of their funds from for the academic years of 2021-25 (in addition to offering up their colleague Mr. Andrew Harrison’s salary through that time) to cover costs of construction and maintenance.

Top: Robert Kirkham/Buffalo News middle: Accademi/a Gallery/Mr. Harrison

When asked whether they approved their tax dollars going into this project, citizens overwhelmingly supported the decision. However, many were also concerned about the safety of the nightly rocket launches and the Canadian Royal Air Force flyovers on alternating Tuesdays. A resident of Britannia Drive commented, “Nah I’m good with all the money stuff, but I worry about the aesthetic decision of the beige rocket body with lime green flares, as well as the general safety of my wife and children.” 

However, Social Studies teacher Mr. P. Nogowski sees no problem with the situation. When asked about the monument, he said, “I’m quite fond of it. I think, if anything, this school should pour more funding into world class marble statues honoring recent Williamsville retirees,” but pointed out that his favorite feature of the statue by far is its daily blasting of Young MC’s “Bust a Move” out of its mouth hole in place of the morning announcements. Says Nogowski, “It makes me happy. Very happy.” 

World-renowned Latin teacher Mrs. Laurel Milks preferred a more subtle retirement gift — a six acre Italian vineyard for her vacationing and hosting pleasures in place of the $2 million sports complex built in 2017. Unfortunately, this did call for the demolition of Transit Middle School, but in the end, TMS assistant principal Mr. Patrick Quast simply says, “It was worth it. Very much worth it.”

Photo from Christie’s International Real Estate

So, to summarize, Williamsville East has commissioned:

  • A statue to fit a titan of music education
  • A vineyard palace fit for East’s own Roman goddess
  • An epic send-off for East’s most beloved instructors and inspirers.

Longtime AP US teacher Mr. P. Nogowski will receive a $20 gift certificate to the bowling venue establishment of his choice.

Thank you for decades worth of hard work and dedication to Williamsville East.

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