By Ryan Chou

Source: Liliana Tsanova/Getty Images

According to a new peer-reviewed study, all of humanity has been in one long fever-dream since January 1st, 2020. The research claims that there has- in fact- been no global pandemic, boiling racial tensions, or attempted coups in the last year. 

In his abstract, world-renowned researcher, Dr. John Barron, found that the world had widespread New Years Eve parties on December 31st, 2019, which led to a uniform state of unconsciousness that has carried on for over a year now. Barron claims that what is occurring in our world is not what is going on in reality. 

How did the study make this conclusion? Well, 100 people were surveyed with the question “Does the last year feel real?” and based on the 100% “yes” response, it was determined through statistical analysis that this could not be reality. 

Although every major scientific research journal has denounced the paper as “nonsensical,” “lacking logic or a well thought-out process,” and “full of confounding variables,” Dr. Barron stands by his findings. According to him, the only way for us to return to reality is by traveling the universe and finding six special gems that must then be placed in a gauntlet, which, when someone snaps, will wake everyone up from their dream. 

If Dr. Barron is right, which 43% of Americans surveyed believe to be the case, then 2020 never happened. President Biden has recently signed a $14 trillion bill to find the six gems, so we will soon find out if we are simply unconscious.