By Neil Vijay
Note, the last time I updated these rankings was week 10, so jumps or falls in the rankings are according to the progress they made over the past 5 weeks. Also this article was written on 12/15/2023.
32. Carolina Panthers: The first team to be officially eliminated from the playoffs, and it was only week 13, yikes.
31. New England Patriots: The Patriots won the toilet bowl but they still stink.
30 (-6). New York Jets: The Jets somehow crushed the Texans. This season is so confusing. Also Zach Wilson looks decent one week and incompetent the next. Make it make sense.
29 (-7). Washington Commanders: QB Sam Howell is having one of the most interesting seasons I’ve ever seen. He has the 2nd most passing yards, most INTs, and the most sacks taken. Unfortunately, the Commanders as a team are very uninteresting.
28 (-11). Los Angeles Chargers: I’m sick of defending this team only for them to let me down time and time again. Herbert is now out for the season and you got crushed by the Raiders 63-21. The Raiders. 63-21. The entire organization is in shambles with HC Brandon Staley being fired. This team has been in my opinion the biggest let down of the season.
27 (+2). Arizona Cardinals: The Cardinals are actually quite decent with the return of Kyler Murray, unfortunately it’s probably too little too late.
26 (+1). Chicago Bears: The Bears somehow beat the Lions. This doesn’t really tell me much about the Bears but it tells me that the Lions are frauds.
25 (+3). Tennessee Titans: The Titans made a miraculous comeback against the Dolphins in the 4th quarter. Although it may not have been the easiest win, a win is a win.
24 (-8). Pittsburgh Steelers: Can’t even beat New England. Embarrassing.
23 (+12). New York Giants: Hope and pray that Tommy DeVito isn’t just another Josh Dobbs.
22 (-1). Las Vegas Raiders: 63 points. Where has this offense been all year? Aidan O’Connell looked like prime Brady out on the field and the entire team clicked in a way I haven’t seen in a while.
21 (-4). New Orleans Saints: The Saints crushed the Panthers, no surprise there, but I still feel that this team is not that good. To be fair, no team in the NFC South is.
20 (+2). Atlanta Falcons: The Falcons could have easily run the NFC South if they won against the Buccaneers on Sunday. Unfortunately, in true Falcons fashion, they lost 29-25.
19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: If you go look up the word “mediocre” in a dictionary, this is the team that dictionary would use as an example. This was the exact sentence I wrote in the last article, but it still applies.
18 (-5). Minnesota Vikings: You may have won but that was the worst win I’ve ever seen in my entire life. A team that wins 3-0 cannot be taken seriously.
17 (+10). Los Angeles Rams: The Rams lost in heartbreaking fashion but they put up a good fight against the Ravens. This team could be a huge spoiler team in the wild card. The issue is whether or not they’ll make it to the playoffs at all.
16 (-6). Seattle Seahawks: The Seahawks defense got beaten by the Cowboys but they’re still a decent team even if they dropped 6 spaces in the Power Rankings.
15 (+3). Indianapolis Colts: You just got destroyed by Jake Browning.
14 (-2). Cincinnati Bengals: Why does Jake Browning actually look like a good QB? The Bengals are still firmly in the playoff race.
13 (+12). Green Bay Packers: As a Packers fan, I’m so impressed with the progress Jordan Love has made. The last time I wrote one of these articles, the Packers were 3-6. But Jordan Love proceeded to pass for 8 TDs, no picks, and 3 wins against the Chargers, Lions, and Chiefs. Now Love has to prove those wins aren’t a fluke, especially coming off of a tough loss against the Giants.
12 (+7). Denver Broncos: The Broncos beat the Chargers and proved that their early season struggles were just flukes.
11 (+3). Buffalo Bills: This team is a couple missed calls and stupid penalties away from an under .500 record, but for the first time this season, I’ve gained confidence in this Bills team.
10 (+1). Houston Texans: You got destroyed by the Jets. The New York Jets.
9. Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jaguars lost a hard fought battle against one of the toughest teams in the league. No shame in that
8 (-4). Detroit Lions: Frauds, plain and simple.
7 (-2). Kansas City Swifties: Speaking of frauds, here come the Kansas City Crybabies. Patrick Mahomes shouldn’t have blamed the refs for Kadarius Toney for having the awareness of my little sister. Crazy how they start complaining about the refs once the calls don’t go their way for once in their lives.
6 (+2). Cleveland Browns: Joe Flacco was playing like it was 2012 and the Browns proved that they can win with any QB no matter the situation.
5 (+2). Miami Dolphins: The Dolphins are either making the Superbowl or losing in the first round. There is no in between for this team.
4 (-1). Baltimore Ravens: The Ravens had the most electrifying win of the week and Lamar Jackson showed that he can perform in clutch time.
3 (-2). Philadelphia Eagles: You just got exposed, badly. Two weeks in a row.
2 (+1). Dallas Cowboys: I’ve been big on the Cowboys all season and they showed why I thought so highly of them. Their offense is just as deadly as the Dolphins’ or the 49ers’ and their defense is quite good as well.
1 (+5). San Francisco 49ers: Brock Purdy might just win the MVP award after being the last pick in the draft. If the NFL truly is scripted, the scriptwriters deserve a massive raise for this storyline.
