Monday, June 27, 2022

Local Teacher Dissed by Government Issued Cease and Desist (April 1st Edition)

By Cian Colgan and Seth Gellman

Source: Made by Cian Colgan, original image credit to Tim Trockoe  

Williamsville East chemistry teacher and Pendleton conservation board member Andrew Harrison will be placed on administrative leave for the remainder of the year. Mr. Harrison sent a WITSMail to all of his students on Friday that he wouldn’t be able to proceed with the class and that a substitute teacher would fill in.

Let’s rewind a bit: all of this started after a honors addendum on stoichiometry. During this examination, Harrison played a video titled “Yuve Yuve Yu” by the band The HU. Harrison, or Mr. Huber as his students affectionately call him, was going on another rant about septic tanks. It was his normal self and his students were understandably terrified of the honors addendum. 

The problem arose when he found out that the music, advertised as Mongolian heavy metal, was actually the Estonian national anthem. The Mongolian government, headed by His Mr. Excellency Luvsannamsrain Oyun-Erdene, issued a cease and desist on behalf of the band. In addition, he campaigned for action to be taken against the teacher.

“Originally, I thought it was a joke,” said the Secretary of the Pendleton Conservation Advisory Council Andrew Harrison, “something that one of my kids made.” He brushed it off and continued on with his life. Until, in the middle of a lecture given to the Pendleton board about the composting rates of different diaper types, he was interrupted by a spokesman of the General Intelligence Agency of Mongolia (GIA). The spokesman informed him that ‘Estonian rubbish’ was not permissible music to be played in the name of His Excellency Mr. Luvsannamsrain Oyun-Erdene. 

Harrison laughed it off, again thinking it was an elaborate joke. However, the spokesman, flanked by all three of the GIA’s agents, handed him His Excellency Mr. Luvsannamsrain Oyun-Erdene’s letter. “This violation was of utmost importance to our people,” elaborated the GIA spokesperson. “Protecting our culture is a paramount on the world stage… The HU are our national heroes, so we needed to be measured in our response but still make sure we sent the proper message.”

We reached out to His Excellency Mr. Luvsannamsrain Oyun-Erdene for comment, but he declined our offer of an interview. 

Since then, Mr. Harrison has been dishonorably discharged from the Pendleton board and suspended indefinitely from teaching. While many students fondly remember this marker-throwing maniac, it’s unlikely he will be returning to school.

The East Side News
The East Side News
The official website of Williamsville East High School's East Side News, providing community, national, and international news stories, written by high school students since 1992.
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