By Neil Vijay
32 (-2). Carolina Panthers (0-5) – This team is last because it’s the only team without a win. Bryce Young had a Jameis Winston-esque game, throwing for 3 TDs and 2INTs as they got crushed by the Lions. This team is just bad, nothing else to say.
31 (+1). Chicago Bears (1-4) – After 342 days of pure misery the Bears not only just won a game, but they won in convincing fashion, crushing Washington 40-20. DJ Moore was the MVP of the game, but the big story is Justin Fields and his resurgence over the past two weeks. We’ll see what Fields can do against a playoff-caliber team, but things are looking better for the Bears.
30 (+1). Denver Broncos (1-4) – The Broncos, high off their one and only win, lost to the Jets 31-21, which was especially embarrassing because HC Sean Payton blamed Nathaniel Hackett for the Broncos’ horrible season last year, and Payton lost to Hackett this week.
29 (-7). New England Patriots (1-4) – I think we’ve answered the question of who was more important, Brady or Belichick. The Patriots laid a goose egg against the Saints, being crushed 34-0, meaning they’ve been outscored 72-3 over the past two games. This team is so incompetent it hurts to watch.
28. New York Giants (1-4) – The Giants lost 31-16 against Miami in a game that proved that the New York offensive line is as effective as a loaf of bread. No seriously, I’m starting to think the local pee-wee football team could do better. They’ve let up 18 sacks over the last 2 games.
27. Arizona Cardinals (1-4) – The Cardinals are surprisingly keeping games kind of competitive even though they’re 1-4. Bengals WR Ja’Marr Chase torched the Cardinals to the tune of 3 TDs and Joe Burrow had his first good game of the season. That being said, the Cardinals only lost 34-20 (and it was competitive going into the 4th quarter when the score was 24-20).
26 (-1). Washington Commanders (2-3) – You lost to the Bears, who haven’t won a game in 342 days.
25 (+4). New York Jets (2-3) – The Jets have been keeping games competitive over the last few weeks and it has finally paid off with a 31-21 win over the Broncos. Although the opponent may not be the best, a win is a win, and they’ll gladly take it.
24 (-3). Pittsburgh Steelers (2-3) – Build a shrine and statue of TJ Watt outside your stadium, that is all.
23 (+1). Las Vegas Raiders (2-3) – The Raiders squeaked out a win against the Packers on Monday Night Football. The performance wasn’t anything special but it was enough to secure the win.
22 (+2). Minnesota Vikings (1-4) – The Vikings kept it close against the Chiefs, but they ultimately lost 27-20. Normally, I would find this impressive, but the Chiefs have barely scraped out wins all season, so I’m not so sure how I feel about this team. That being said, I’ve given them one higher spot in the rankings because the Chiefs are still kind of good.
21 (-2). Indianapolis Colts (3-2) – Good news, star RB Jonathan Taylor is here to stay and they won on Sunday against the Titans 23-16. Bad news, Anthony Richardson can’t keep himself healthy, and if he doesn’t keep himself healthy, he could become RG3 2.0.
20 (+6). Houston Texans (2-3) – The Texans are a legit top 20 team. Even though they lost, they only lost by 2 to a good Falcons team (21-19). I’m excited to see how CJ Stroud progresses as the season goes on.
19 (+1). Tennessee Titans (2-3) – The Titans lost by 7 to a Colts team without Anthony Richardson. Zack Moss outperformed Derrick Henry, who seems to be having a mediocre 2023 season. Just the definition of mediocre.
18 (-4). Green Bay Packers (2-3) – The Packers lost in a boring Monday Night matchup against the Raiders in which Jordan Love had by far the worst performance of his career, throwing 3 INTs. The team has potential, but as of late, they’re not living up to it.
17 (-5). Cincinnati Bengals (2-3) – The Bengals beat the Cardinals 34-20. Ja’Marr Chase caught 3 TDs and Joe Burrow had his best game of the season. That being said, their opponent wasn’t the toughest, and I’d like to see the Bengals beat a good opponent before I proclaim that they’re back.
16 (-1). Cleveland Browns (2-2) – The Browns lost embarrassingly to the Baltimore Ravens 28-3 and then went into their bye week. Usually, I would drop the Browns by 5 or more spaces for such a loss, but they were without starting QB Deshaun Watson, so I’ll give them a pass.
15 (+3). Tampa Bay Buccaneers (3-1) – The Bucs are good, surprisingly good. Honestly, it wouldn’t surprise me if they ended up winning the NFC South. Also, Mayfield may be the solution at QB after all.
14 (-5). New Orleans Saints (3-2) – The Saints finally had the big win they were looking for, crushing the Patriots 34-0. With Alvin Kamara back and Derek Carr playing decently, the Saints are starting to look good. That being said they’ve dropped in the rankings because of the week 4 loss to the Buccaneers and a general lack of convincing wins.
13. Atlanta Falcons (3-2) – The Falcons scraped out a win over the Texans, 21-19. Desmond Ridder had a great day passing for 300+ yards and a TD. The Falcons when all of their pieces are clicking together are a dangerous team. The problem is that they rarely always click together, with Bijan Robinson having a mediocre day.
12 (+5). Seattle Seahawks (3-1) – The Seahawks had a bye in week 5 but their performance in week 4 was nothing short of dominance. The Seahawks defense recorded 11 sacks against the Giants en route to a 24-3 victory.
11 (-1). Los Angeles Rams (2-3) – The Rams might be one of the best 2-3 teams I’ve ever seen. Their record won’t show that the teams they lost to are some of the best in the NFL (Eagles, 49ers, and Bengals). Puka Nacua looks like Cooper Kupp 2.0. And Matthew Stafford is looking like his prime self, which is what they want if they want to return to the Super Bowl.
10 (+1). Los Angeles Chargers (2-2) – The Chargers held off the Raiders and then headed into their bye. Their defense is starting to look clutch and their offense is top tier as usual. Even with a decent defense, the Chargers can make a playoff run if their offense stays exceptional.
9 (-1). Dallas Cowboys (3-2) – Usually I’d say that there is no shame in losing to the best team in the NFL, but the Cowboys didn’t just lose, they were utterly embarrassed. The Cowboys lost 42-10 in a game where they made the 49ers look like men amongst boys. Almost a quarter (4/17) of 49ers QB Brock Purdy’s passes were TDs. That is unacceptable.
8 (-1). Baltimore Ravens (3-2) – The Ravens choked against the Steelers and lost 17-10. The game showed that the Ravens’ biggest problem is their WR room. The Ravens’ WRs had multiple drops, and some of their best WRs would be on the bench on other teams. The Ravens need to invest in a star WR now instead of waiting for their current WRs to progress (which they haven’t been really doing).
7 (+9). Jacksonville Jaguars (3-2) – The Jaguars shocked the Bills in London and they clamped down the Bills offense in a 25-20 loss. The Jaguars needed a major win like this to be taken seriously, and they’ve been keeping it close or even winning against some upper-echelon teams (Chiefs, Bills).
6 (-3). Kansas City Chiefs (4-1) – I know I just said the Chiefs are an upper-echelon team, but they don’t look like the reigning Super Bowl Champions. They’ve been keeping things too close against inferior competition (Jets, Jags, Vikings) and they need a big win (and no, the win against the Bears doesn’t count). The Chiefs need to shake it off and play up to their standards.
5 (+1). Detroit Lions (4-1) – The Lions are legit. They embarrassed the Panthers 42-24. It got so bad that the Panthers had to put Sam Darnold in. I think it’s time to crown the Lions as kings of the North (for now).
4 (-3). Miami Dolphins (4-1) – The Dolphins beat the Giants 31-16 but they have dropped in the rankings because of their week 4 performance against the Bills where they let the Bills offense walk up and down the field in a humiliating 48-20 loss. The Dolphins need to show that they’re not a glorified Chargers before I crown them as the best team in the NFL.
3. Buffalo Bills (3-2) – The Bills lost on Sunday in London to the Jaguars but they still have a ceiling as high as Mount Everest. When the whole team is clicking it’s a thing of beauty (see Bills vs Dolphins highlights). Their offense, however, is sometimes inconsistent, randomly having shockingly bad performances (at least compared to their standards). The Bills need consistency before they get a Super Bowl because of one inconsistent performance in the playoffs (Bills vs Bengals 2022-2023, Bills vs Chiefs 2020-2021) and it’s game over.
2 (+3). Philadelphia Eagles (5-0) – The Eagles have solidified themselves as one of the best teams in the NFL with a good win over the Rams and their deadly passing attack. They may be keeping games a little too close for their liking sometimes but it doesn’t matter if Jalen Hurts gets 350+ total yards per game.
1 (+1). San Francisco 49ers (5-0) – Every team seems to have a major flaw, but the 49ers honestly don’t. They just embarrassed a very good Cowboys team on Sunday Night football and George Kittle caught 3 TDs against a good Cowboys defense. If you can beat the Cowboys 42-10, you can beat anyone in the league, and honestly, this team is the clear favorite to win the Super Bowl right now.
