By Armita Rohani
In a heartbreaking and unexpected announcement, East’s administration has recently announced that both the beloved Junior Dinner Dance (JDD) and Senior Prom have been canceled for this school year. This news comes in the wake of an increase in use of a vape-able caffeine called Celsi-vape and the cost of repairing the plumbing connected to three of the boys’ bathrooms. Both reasons are unrelated but contributed to the decision.
A substantial number of students have been caught vaping a highly potable concoction of caffeine; according to inside information over 57 students have been caught red-handed this year alone. “This is absolutely unacceptable under all circumstances and this behavior will not be tolerated,” said the East main office. “If students can not follow rules, they lose privileges, simple as that.” Many students are protesting this decision, citing the competitive culture and high expectations at East that drives them to need to constantly stay awake for school.
To prevent the onslaught of more cases from occurring, and to protect other students from the illegal activities of these perpetrators, the district has forced East to cancel the remaining dances scheduled for this year. Without the greenlight from the district office, the junior and senior classes are prohibited from hosting their dances, no matter how many adults may supervise. “You could have the entire police department patrolling the environment and students will still find a chance to break the rules. We cannot endanger the well-being of our community over two silly little dances; it is for the best that these activities are canceled. Who knows what these kids will do under the influence of these substances–the lives they will threaten or the endangerment they will cause?” warned the president of the Williamsville Board of Education.
Mrs. Wagar said she was worried what will happen if too many over-caffeinated students started doing the whip and crash into each other. “I mean, I can nae-nae with the best of them, but not while under the influence,” she added. Moments later, Senora Wagar, who few know is very Italian, was seen taking a shot of espresso from her Bialetti.
While the decision seems abrupt, the debate over such a topic has been occurring for several months. The dilemma started from Homecoming, after numerous incidents occurred during Taste of East, the Bonfire, and the Homecoming dance. After Homecoming, more students were caught skipping class to use Celsi-vape. The majority of the perpetrators were juniors so stressed out from thinking about applying to college in the fall that they wanted to get a jump start on being anxious now. Many were heard chanting “Anxiety Now!” repeatedly at one of the therapy dogs in the Guidance office.
What’s even worse is that the same perpetrators have allegedly pressured and forced several underclassmen to join their illicit activities. One freshman, who will remain anonymous, was reportedly hospitalized for caffeine consumption back in November, prompting the student’s family to transfer schools. “It really is a shame that so many students have to pay the price for the activities of some delinquents–except it’s not just a couple, it’s more than 50,” the Board President said.
And to the lesser cause of the issue at hand, there is only one bathroom boys can use since the other three have been found unusable multiple times recently. The head custodian said he found thousands of Hubucks stashed inside the urinals; they were acting like a plug and stopping the drainage. Thanks to the illegal trade market for these so-called Hubucks, an average ticket for students to attend either dance will range between $150-$200 to cover the costs. And while some students are willing to pay the price, administrators are worried that the only currency that students will carry is a hundo Hubuck.
As a junior myself, the reactions of the student population will be expected to be awful. Seniors are absolutely outraged, having to have their freshman year online, causing them to miss out on concerts, Homecoming, and other dances, canceling prom pulled the last string for the class. “I’m sitting here crying in my prom dress,” Pen Fang remarked. “We literally missed out on our first year of high school, and now they’re trying to take away our prom over some idiot juniors. How’s that fair? What’s next, cancel graduation because a couple kids can’t graduate? Prom’s supposed to be our last chance to enjoy high school as a class before grad–who said they could just take it away?” This is an average response to the news, as several other seniors angrily remarked about the decision as well. STUCO has allegedly planned several protests to occur during school hours, where seniors and juniors will walk out of the school in objection. Upperclassmen officers are planning on hosting the dances anyways, relying on parent supervision instead of a school sponsored event–if they can get past the district’s restrictions. Some students are even planning on suing the district and East’s administrations over the decision–the jury will even include some of East’s faculty.
Although there is an outpouring of disapproval regarding the decision—and an alarming amount of large-billed Hubucks being thrown around in attempts at bribery–it will not be willingly changed by administration.
