Reporters: Garrett Speller, Arya Pindiprolu
The klein turkey has been snatched from his roost at Klein and Paradise, and has been relocated to springville. Here are the facts.
The turkey, sometimes referred to as Tom, has stalked the intersection between Klein road and Paradise Road for a few years now. He was fearless, frequently pecking at cars and chasing them in a seemingly territorial display of aggression. Ultimately however, the town decided that the turkey was a traffic hazard, as many people would stop in the center of the intersection to avoid an early thanksgiving dinner. This resulted in a multitude of calls to animal control, and so it was finally roused to action. Eyewitness reports suggest an animal control officer chasing the bird around with a net — not exactly Tom’s glorious last stand. He was eventually captured and transferred to the Nora’s Ark program, which relocates animals. Tom was dropped off in springville, on private property, and thankfully far from any roads. After all, Tom may be a turkey, but he didn’t hesitate to play chicken with cars.
No word yet on Tom’s now orphaned family, some have reported up to twelve smaller turkeys often followed him around. This news is slightly distressing, as no one knows what has happened to them, or whether they will follow in their father’s stead and show up in the now-vacant intersection.
Tom may have been a menace to public safety, but he was a fun menace to public safety. He made the commute to work and school special, and many a story was created following his antics. The student council here at East has tweeted “SAVE OUR TURKEY!!!”, and many signs have been showing up at the intersection, claiming that he will return to the promised land. Whatever the case, Tom is gone. The east side newspaper will follow up with Nora’s Arc to check on our favorite problematic poultry. Stay tuned.
