LATEST ARTICLES

Introducing “Woolly Mice” – Mammoth Advancement or Ethical Dilemma?

By Sophia Byl

A colossal creature that can grow to be 10 feet tall, sporting scraggly tan fur and sharp curled tusks. It roams the tundras of Eurasia, braving temperatures far below freezing as it traverses mountains and plains. Woolly mammoths sound pretty scary on paper, but like modern day elephants (more specifically Asian elephants, as those are the mammoth’s closest living relatives) they are relatively gentle herbivores who only attack when provoked.

But there’s a much bigger, glaring reason why you don’t need to worry about woolly mammoths stepping on your car or attacking you in the street. Save for the likes of Manny from the Ice Age movies, most human beings will never so much as glimpse a woolly mammoth in their lifetime. All species of mammoth went extinct thousands of years ago, with no hope of being revived. But is that really true? Modern science and genetic engineering would beg to differ.

Well, we haven’t exactly brought the woolly mammoth back from the dead. What scientists at Colossal Bioscience, a biotechnology company based in Dallas, have managed to do is create a remarkably furry, golden, and adorable mouse. Dubbed the “woolly mouse,” this new genetically engineered organism has captured the heart of millions worldwide on social media. But there are many misunderstandings surrounding the origin of the woolly mice – for example, that they are a brand new species of mouse, or that they were created by splicing woolly mammoth genes into regular mice. 

The woolly mice were actually created using simple gene-editing techniques. First, geneticists identified a couple of different genes present in mice that controlled certain traits, then edited those traits so that the mouse would present with a more “mammoth-like” phenotype. For example, the gene FGF5 (short for fibroblast growth factor 5) controls hair growth in mice. By deleting this gene from the mice’s genome, Colossal managed to create mice with long and curly fur: much closer to a mammoth’s fur than a regular mouse coat. Other genes that were edited include MC1R (which controls melanin production) and FRZD6 (which controls how curly the fur is). The result is the adorable woolly mouse that may just be a mammoth step in bringing back extinct species.

Dr. Beth Shapiro, who is the chief research scientist at Colossal, says that the woolly mouse experiments are “an important step toward validating our  approach to resurrecting traits that have been lost to extinction and that our goal is to restore.” She also works as an ecology and evolutionary biology professor at UC Santa Cruz, but is currently on a leave of absence to pursue the woolly mouse project. Shapiro explained that since the lab is able to engineer woolly mice with relatively consistent and successful results, the method seems promising for the future. 

Other scientists have commended the Dallas company for their advanced methods and great advancements in genetic engineering. Love Dalén, an evolutionary genomics professor at Stockholm University, said that Colossal’s ability to edit multiple mouse genes simultaneously is quite impressive, and that “it is a proof-of-principle that Colossal has the know-how to do this kind of gene editing, including to insert mammoth gene variants into a different species.” 

But the Colossal Lab has its critics too. The most obvious thing is that we haven’t exactly reached the goal of reviving the woolly mammoth just yet. “Mice are not elephants,” Shapiro commented, “which people have helpfully pointed out to us, as if we didn’t know that.” There’s also bigger ethical questions at stake, too – mammoths are social animals, so only having a few alive at once would be a detriment to their species. And who said it would be best for the ecosystem to revive them, anyways? The woolly mouse experiment is certainly a big win in the field of engineering, but it also brings to light some of the larger issues with the human race: our mindset that we are in a position to manipulate other living beings, and the apparent “need” to control everything around us, regardless of how they feel.

Microplastics: The Hidden Threat to Human Health

By Saanvi Sharma 

Plastic pollution has been going on for many years, and in recent years has been a growing concern. However, it has now been discovered that there is not only plastic in our environment but small little microplastics in our bodies, and food. These tiny plastic particles that are less than 5 mm in size are being found everywhere. And the most concerning part is that researchers still do not know what treats these pollutants may have on our bodies. 

How Do Microplastics Get Into Our Bodies?  

Microplastics come from plastic waste that has been broken down over time. Since plastic cannot fully degrade, it breaks down into smaller parts. Since these pieces are so small, they can easily enter the food chain. When fish and other sea creatures consume microplastics, they can end up on our plates, as the food chain carries them. Studies have also shown that we inhale microplastics through the air and even ingest them through tap and especially bottled water.  

A recent study estimated that the average person consumes an average of 45,000 microplastic particles each year, excluding the ones taken in through the air. Finding microplastics in human tissue, proved even further, the invasive nature of these particles. 

Are Microplastics Dangerous?  

The main question is though, are these microplastic really harmful? Although there are no studies that prove anything yet, the facts suggest they could be harmful. Some plastics contain harmful chemicals, like BPA and phthalates, which have been linked to hormone disruption, reproductive issues, and even cancer. Microplastics can act as carriers for bacteria and toxic substances as in the ocean they pick up pollutants and heavy metals as well as pesticides. 

 If microplastics carry these chemicals into our bodies,they most likely will have a health risk. While there isn’t enough research to say for sure how microplastics impact human health long-term, the fact that they’re circulating through our bloodstream is worrying enough.  

What Can Be Done?  

Since plastic is everywhere, it’s almost impossible to avoid microplastics entirely. However, there are ways to reduce the amount you consume. Drinking filtered water in a non-plastic bottle  can help, as studies show bottled water contains more microplastics. Choosing natural fiber clothing instead of synthetic fabrics like polyester can also cut down on microplastic pollution, as washing polyester releases microfibers into the water supply. On a larger scale, some countries have created new regulations against plastic, banning the production of some materials. 

Microplastics have quietly infiltrated our environment, our food, and even our bodies. While the full effects on human health are still unknown, is it still a concern that microplastics are all around us. The best way to protect ourselves is to limit plastic use, push for better environmental policies, and support scientific research that aims to uncover the truth about these invisible invaders.  

Trump’s New Tariff Idea: Good or Bad?

By: Yuting Lin

Recently, U.S. President Donald Trump said that if he were to win the 2024 election, he would add new tariffs on goods from other countries, especially from China. Now, some Chinese products already have tariffs as high as 125%. Trump’s goal is to make foreign products more expensive, so Americans will buy more “made in USA” products instead of the products from other countries, and thus support American workers. Trump believes this will help American factories earn more money and hire more American workers. He also wants the U.S. to depend less on other countries.

But this kind of policy also brings risks. First, when tariffs go up, prices usually go up too. That means people in the U.S. may have to pay more for everyday items like clothes, electronics, and even food. Life could become more expensive, especially for families with lower incomes. Many people are already struggling to live with the current prices. If prices rise even further while their wages stay the same, they may find it impossible to survive. Some might even end up homeless, living on the streets. This could also lead to a larger problem: a potential economic collapse.

Also, China has responded by raising tariffs on American goods to 125% as well. This kind of situation is called a “trade war.” In a trade war, both countries keep raising taxes on each other’s products, which will end up hurting businesses in both countries. Companies may lose money, sell less, and even have to lay off workers. This could lead to a decline in social morals, triggering a “butterfly effect” of other negative consequences. In 2018 and 2019, when Trump added tariffs on Chinese goods, some American farmers and companies suffered because China stopped buying from them. Some jobs were lost instead of saved. Tariffs can have bad results for workers and companies quite frequently.

If this continues, it can lead to inflation in the U.S. getting worse, meaning prices keep rising, the stock market might go down, people could lose money, and U.S.-China relations could become more tense, making cooperation harder in the future.

In the end, I think both countries should focus on helping the people in their countries live better lives, not on fighting each other with tariffs. Trade wars don’t really have winners; both sides lose something.  No matter who wins a war, it’s always the people who pay the highest price. Higher prices, fewer jobs, and more stress on people are not results anyone wants. Instead of using force, it’s better to use communication. If leaders care about their people, then they should find a smart and peaceful way to solve problems. I really hope countries can work together, instead of against each other, and build a better world for everyone.

A Humble Proposal to the Pressing Issue of Childhood Obesity 

By Muling Lu

When walking through the streets of a town in, say, Mississippi, or perhaps Kentucky, one may be shocked by the appearances of the children residing there. You recall how you looked when you were younger: short hair, t-shirts, dirty sneakers from playing in the lawn all day. These descriptions seem to fit the kids in front of you, but then the major differences strike you. The kids seem to be far more… rotund than you would expect. They don’t seem to be doing much playing in the lawn. Instead, they’re rather busy scrolling on their screens that children their age shouldn’t have unlimited access to. 

I believe that the issue is easily visible to anyone, both literally and figuratively; children of this era are far too lazy, eat too much, and push their hearts and tshirts to the brink of explosion. The doctors advise them to exercise, to eat healthy, to get off their screens and engage in healthy childhood behaviors, and yet they watch in disdain as child after child grows up to be rounder than the last. If only there was a way to mandate these kids to exercise and lead productive lives!

My solution(proposed ever so humbly), however, fixes not only that problem, but addresses another issue as well. For decades, America has been trying to “go green” with energy and find a sustainable energy source to provide to the general public without the detrimental effects on the environment. They seek a means to produce energy for the lowest cost and the greatest benefit. They also seek a means to bring these children back to good health so they can serve as the future of this almighty nation. 

Now you may be wondering: “Why hasn’t anyone done anything about these problems, if they are so prominent?” The answer is, people have tried, and people have failed. Doctors and government officials and teachers and researchers have tried all sorts of ways to fix childhood obesity. They call for better quality foods to be sold, better education on food and health, less targeted advertising, but none of their efforts seem to produce much effect. But at the end of the day, these people have much more important things to be worried about. As long as they chip in to their projects, they get paid. None of them are truly dedicated to solving childhood obesity. On the contrary, I can guarantee the general public that my idea is not only effective, but very well thought out and calculated. 

Where am I going with this? Well, the people need a more sustainable source of energy. The children have far too much chemical energy stored in their little bodies. There seems to be a clear solution. 

Before you think to yourself that I’m a monster who’s suggesting we sacrifice the children into huge boilers and somehow harness the energy in their vapors, I’d like to assure you that that is not the case. I’m a living, breathing, and empathetic human being too (emphasis on the empathetic)! And transferring chemical energy into usable energy in one step seems entirely scientifically improbable. I instead propose a two step process: first converting the energy from chemical into kinetic, and then kinetic to usable energy. This revolutionary process will increase energy efficiency by nearly two times and be far less costly than whatever vaporization-based mad scientist scheme you all were contemplating. 

After much careful consideration, I believe this method is the most cost-effective and beneficial to everyone. The obese children should be taken, or should I say, borrowed temporarily, for a government energy project. They will bike on power generators that all connect to one huge outlet, providing the people with a sustainable energy source and giving the kids exercise. The chemical energy stored in them is put to good use; if their bodies can’t use it, someone else might as well use it for them. 

The methods to this plan are extremely cheap and easy to implement. During the annual physical given to the kids, doctors will calculate their BMI. If it is considered the upper half of overweight or obese, the kids are given a lollipop, told that they did “so well” for cooperating with the doctor, then the doctor will tell them to board a bus home (hint: it’s not a bus home). The living energy storages will then board the bus and wait for enough inventory to be collected. Finally, the bus drives them to a secret location not found on google maps, and there they are introduced to their new “home”. 

At the “home” (if you haven’t caught on by now, it’s an energy farm), all kids are reweighed and sorted from most to least energy. Those with the most excess energy are sent first to the bikes. The rest are taken away and fed with cheap McDonalds and Burger King until they reach a certain BMI threshold, then they are also allowed to bike. At first the living, breathing energy stores will comply, since all kids love biking. Once they begin to get tired, we simply remind them of their goal (that we will propagandize them into believing, don’t worry) of having a six pack and legs so buff that they need adult size XXL shorts. This will motivate them to keep going and pedal harder. 

Once they’ve slimmed down enough, we announce with a heavy heart that they are free to go. However, just to make sure they’ve learned their lesson, we offer to throw them a party before they go home. Now, if the kids choose wrong and decide to go to the party, it means they haven’t learned their lesson and the propaganda hasn’t worked. In that case, our solution is simple. We wipe their memory, feed them so much cake that they become an energy source once again, and then send them right back to the bikes. It’s important to make sure that kids of their age do learn their lesson and truly believe in committing to a healthy lifestyle. 

Now you might be saying, “What the heck?? The kids are energy sources?? You’re sick!!” To that, I can only say that I am not the sick one; rather, I am saving the kids from sickness later in their lives. You might suggest founding organizations to solve this issue, or spreading awareness. However, your simple minded planning overlooks a critical flaw in human psychology: corruption. Organizations handle so much money that it’s easy for those in charge of handling the big bucks to let it get to their head. Sooner or later, half of the money donated to these organizations end up in the hands of those in leadership positions rather than the kids who need it. Also, what other way can you think of to solve both obesity and sustainable energy at the same time? Would you not rather kill two birds with one stone? 

Besides being extremely efficient and brilliant ( all credit goes to me, thank you, thank you), my plan also has advantages that no other solution could accomplish. First of all, nonprofits are ALL the rage these days. And speaking of nonprofit, did you notice that nowhere along the way did we mention any intake of money? That’s right, we’re operating off a minimum budget for maximum productivity! Such selfless and generous businesses are truly diamonds in the rough in the capitalist system we’ve adopted. 

Secondly, if the procedure goes well here, it could be implemented in other countries, especially in the 3rd world and developing countries that need a cheap source of energy to jumpstart their economies and factories. Sending our obese children to those countries would significantly improve the living conditions of those residing there and aid in their development. It would also increase diplomatic relations between the US and potential future allies. 

Lastly,  the most obvious advantage is that the plan addresses two separate issues. By solving childhood obesity at its root (in children, duh), we ensure that these children will lead healthy lives moving forward and will spread their newfound wisdom with their children and those around them. Decreasing childhood obesity leads to lower rates of adult obesity, leading to an increased amount of productive and able bodied individuals, which benefits both the workforce and the army. Additionally, by discovering a lasting source of free energy, scientists and researchers can now focus their attention on developing even more efficient and less environmentally damaging ways of acquiring energy to supply the future generations after we inevitably run out of obese children to power the bikes. This new technology will surely bring glory and respect to our nation while also improving the lives of many(imagine, lower electricity bills!). 

With all this being said, I really can’t think of a better solution to the problems we face in the modern world. Sure, we could set laws and regulations on the usage of fossil fuels and research cleaner alternatives, but that’s simply too expensive and time consuming. We could also set federal restrictions on the health of marketed foods and try to educate ourselves on food deserts, but who’s to say that’ll have any real effects? If there are any, they’ll probably be nowhere near as prominent as the results of my proposal. 

Though this plan has evident advantages over any other I have encountered thus far, please bear in mind that I am not a closed minded person. If any other solution is equally as cost effective, beneficial, selfless, and easily implemented, I’d be happy to consider it. However, I have yet to come across another detailed solution that meets these criteria. It’s simply impossible(or should I say improbable?) for another procedure to be designed that is as streamlined as the one I’ve constructed. Of course, I say this with the humblest intentions. I only want what is best for the people. 

As stated many times already, I propose this course of action with the greatest sincerity and purity of my heart. I have nothing to gain from this proposal and seek only to provide to the fortune of our great country. I am not acquainted with any obese children that I’d personally love to be sent to these energy farms. This is a humble solution organized by a humble woman with no ill intentions; the benefits are evenly split for everyone, as my humble character could never permit a single group to be targeted without reason. 

A Modest Proposal: Putting the “Lit” Back in PoLITics.

By: Will Stark

Every four years, the dreaded election season rolls around. Once again, our quiet, peaceful nation is filled with the Biblical sounds of wailing and gnashing of teeth. In November, citizens drag their feet to the nearest voting center in the name of “democracy” and “the republic” to “do their duty as educated citizens of an enlightened nation.” Obviously, there is an underlying problem here, and it’s not that by then people are already listening to Christmas music.

Our nation’s democracy is a noble experiment, one that relies on an educated and participating citizen. To be honest, people don’t care. Politics are, to be frank, incredibly boring. Who wants to listen to some old geezer moan about how our nation is a dumpster fire and how they are the only ones who can fix it? Ok Boomer, at least a dumpster fire is interesting.

The effects of this are very apparent. Voter turnout has plateaued at around 60%, and it has kind of floated there for the past few decades. The demographics for voters across the country are aging because it’s geezers like these politicians who actually have the time to go vote. Nobody with a job (or a life) cares about foreign economic policy. After all, that’s a Europe problem. Young people don’t want to stand in line and vote. Televised debates are a snoozefest. Debates about tariffs and fracking and foreign aid and participation in treaties and organizations and…you still there? My point exactly: politics are boring and a waste of time.

What if it wasn’t that way? What if politics could become interesting, a spectacle worthy of our precious time? Voter turnout would increase. Young people would return to the polls. Political discord would decrease. It might save many a Thanksgiving dinner! In an age where people have an attention span shorter than Kamala Harris’s campaign, it is paramount that our nation makes politics something more appealing to our generation.

Imagine a reality where instead of debates, candidates participated in rap battles and dropped diss tracks. Imagine instead of political advertisements, candidates streamed themselves sneaking into campaign headquarters of the opposing party to release a fleet of rabid squirrels. Instead of speeches and cameos, politicians would duke it out in a cage match. 1v1 Fortnite battles will help voters to determine who is more qualified, rather than a monotonous drone about policy.

The benefits of these solutions are, to be frank, endless. I will proceed to name a few.

For starters, young people will be the new face of politics. By switching from hour long debates about social security and medicare to heated competition in the form of battle rap, where politicians drop bars and spit straight fire. This will make it much easier for young people to empathize with who is talking. 

Secondly, by transitioning from presidential debates, political adverts, and rallies, we will ensure what information we consume about the candidates is essential and relevant. Instead of what each politician would do about price gouging and fracking, we would be informed on their wit, charm, ability to think on their feet, if they can keep their head cool in the heat of battle (courtesy of regular Call of Duty games), who has more eye-hand coordination, who can think of the sickest burns, whether they can be trusted to sneak a donkey into the Republican National Convention or elephant into the Democratic National Convention, and many more skills that are of the utmost importance when being President of the United States, leader of the free world, and commander in chief of the most powerful military in history.

After these strategies have been implemented, who could say that politics are boring? This past election season was (except for an attempted assassination, a disastrous presidential debate, a swap in candidates, more debate, and record breaking fundraising) very dull. I will confess that I pretended to be interested in politics because I am the deputy National News editor for our school newspaper, but really, I find them incredibly dry and boring. By converting to diss duels, Minecraft speedruns, and MMA fights, it would be hard to stop writing articles. Watching the Democrats setting off stink bombs at the Republican primaries or streaming the Republicans hacking into the screens at a Democratic rally to display “Liberal Losers” would capture public attention like never before. Nowhere else on the planet would people be so excited to perform their civic duty. 

Of course, “every genius has a touch of madness.” Many critics of this proposal have tried to exacerbate my madness, calling it a “threat to democracy” and “the end of the republic” and “seriously concerning. Like, please don’t do this.” Criticism was always expected. A great poet once said, “haters gonna hate hate hate hate hate.” While, of course, I am shaking it off, I will offer the small concession that this proposal may be slightly flawed.

Other alternatives do exist. Greater measures could be taken to connect with the young people of the nation. Maybe politicians could attempt to humanize themselves more, to be side by side with citizens of the United States. Maybe we could make a greater effort to educate people on the significance and importance of politics, and how it is not a far-away matter; rather, politics have consequences felt by all. Maybe we need to change the way candidates campaign that makes them accessible to the rising generation, like utilizing social media to a greater extent.

Let’s face it: these solutions are garbage. How can old blokes connect to younger generations when they can’t even log into Facebook without the help of their grandchildren? Once again, we are limited by the fact that you can’t teach an old dog new tricks. Honestly, I’m not even sure I want to try these solutions. My idea is way more fun. 

Young people are disaffected by politics. They associated them with unrelenting discussions and discourses and assertions about this and that and how the country should be run, and it’s just too much. Why bother? As a result, low voter turnout and political participation. This could all be fixed, simply through the shift to more interesting activities like lyrical smackdowns, races in GTA, Wrestlemania, and dance fights. 

Before I accept your generous, albeit warranted, standing ovations, I must confess: as a nonvoter like myself, the lesser emphasis on policies and points of view will not be a problem for me when picking a political candidate. To those who would rather pick someone qualified and able to lead the nation with its best interests at heart (BORING) this might be a struggle. 

However, despite its lesser flaws, my plan is comprehensive and will no doubt be effective. It is my sincere desire that this will be implemented as soon as possible. Until then, stay out of politics.

MAHA’s Illusion of Health

By Paulina Bargnesi

While scrolling through TikTok, you come across a video of a thin, athletic woman explaining how the ‘carnivore diet’ has forever changed her life as she shoves a stick of butter down her throat. The average person will watch in awe and wonder how her heart is still beating. However, this video will inspire a fraction of the viewers. These days it seems everyone is trying to lose weight, so taking advice from a woman who looks like she has it all together is a no brainer. For inspiration on what to do during their new health journey, they’ll continue to watch this woman go on and on about meat. She’ll tell them all the right things, like how the food industry prioritizes money over the safety of consumers and how whole foods are the key to healthy living. While most of her videos are devoid of political undertones, there are key giveaways to the true nature of her content. Tucked away in the caption of her videos is the hashtag MAHA. 

‘MAHA’ is a banal play on Trump’s ‘MAGA’ slogan, standing  for Make America Healthy Again. A search on Instagram or TikTok will send you down a rabbit whole of hundreds of videos about MAHA. Some videos will include people raving about raw milk benefits and the infamous carnivore diet, or denouncing the food dye red 40. These are all talking points of RFK Jr. – MAHA’s poster boy. In fact, the rise in popularity of MAHA can be attributed to Kennedy’s presidential campaign. Before RFK Jr. became the secretary of health and human services under Trump’s current administration, he was a candidate for the 2024 presidential election. He built his whole campaign on taking down big pharma (which really meant decreasing funding for and access to vaccines) and dismantling public health policies. And although he only received 0.4% of the popular vote, he managed to build a loyal ‘fan base’, consisting of “almond” moms, gym bros, and wellness influencers. 

MAHA and MAGA share many characteristics. For one, any person who knows a rudimentary level of U.S. history can deduce that America has never been truly great (slavery, treatment of Native Americans, segregation, etc.) nor healthy (lead in water, AIDS, etc.). Additionally, it is easy to mistake MAHA for MAGA because of their practically indistinguishable names, but also their close connections to Trump. Donald Trump has ruined many things in my opinion, but a crime he can not be forgiven for is his destruction of the red hat. Now anytime I see someone with a red hat, I have to do a double take to ensure that MAGA is not engraved on the front. Aside from my personal grievances with Trump, his red hat and MAGA are very iconic. 

Trump managed to promise the impossible. In 2016, he promised to build our very own Great Wall rivaling that of China’s. Now with his 2025 presidency starting, he has made little to no mention of building the wall. In 2024 during his campaign rallies, he promised to bring down food prices on day one, which one could argue won him this presidential election. Then, in an interview with Time after winning the election, he claimed it’s ‘very hard’ to bring down food prices, and now during his presidency  the cost of eggs is soaring. Yet even with these empty promises, Trump supporters are perhaps stronger than ever for their lord and savior Donald J. Trump. This is because Trump and his cohorts have effectively mastered indoctrination. Trump supporters are more like a community rather than a group of people who voted for the same man. They are willing to defend Trump for anything wrong he has done or will do. It is no wonder why RFK Jr. wanted to jump on the bandwagon with MAHA; he too wants a passionate group of supporters. 

Although his fan base seems to believe RFK is a man of strong principles and unwavering conviction, the public figure is more of a snake oil salesman than anything else. He will flock to whichever side of the political spectrum endorses him. Before making the decision to drop out of the 2024 presidential race, RFK approached the Harris campaign with a deal: I endorse you for a position in your cabinet. At the same time, RFK Jr. proposed a similar deal to the Trump team. And ever the salesman, the former president took the wellness guru up on his offer, as the convicted felon can never miss the chance to strike a deal. As such, RFK made promises to his supporters that he will work with Donald Trump to ensure improvement in America’s nutrition and fight against chronic disease, and thus MAHA was born. And that’s how RFK found himself on a private jet with DJT and several others, forced to pose with a Big Mac in one hand and a grimace on his face as some sort of initiation ritual into the MAGA crowd. 

On the surface level, MAHA does raise some important concerns regarding America’s leading causes of mortality and quality of life. They also routinely call into question the integrity of our pharmaceutical industry and healthcare system. However, instead of attacking Big Pharma’s lobbying practices or price gouging, MAHA believes the corruption lies within their development of vaccines and the general practice of research. They prey on the already present distrust Amerians have for our healthcare system and indoctrinate people into believing they have a way to break out of it. They start with a truth and spin it into a web of lies. MAHA has now made some Americans think that autism and down syndrome are the effects of vaccines, when decades of research has proved otherwise. 

The effects of RFK and his MAHA movement are far reaching. In 2019, RFK traveled to Samoa, a country already experiencing vaccine distrust. While there, he hung out with another anti-vaccine influencer to help spread even more fear regarding the measles vaccine. By the time he left, mistrust of vaccines grew and a measles outbreak, causing thousands of illnesses and 83 deaths, was left in his wake. Now as the leader of the HHS, RFK Jr. has an even greater ability to stoke vaccine misinformation and fumble public health crises. We can see one consequence of this burgeoning issue with the measles outbreak in Houston, Texas, where 159 cases have already been identified. This number almost rivals the total number of measles infections for the whole year of 2024. Instead of urging folks in Texas to vaccinate their children, RFK further pushed the narrative that nutritional supplements like Vitamin A and D were aiding in the treatment of the measles outbreak. Once again, RFK shows his limited knowledge in science, as viruses can not be cured with vitamins or even antibacterial medications. A simple solution would be to encourage vaccines as a prevention to infection, but that would just be too easy. 

The famous Kennedy also revealed how little he knows about human biology with the belief that Black people should follow a different vaccine schedule compared to whites because their immune systems are stronger. Instead of addressing the real effect racism has on health outcomes for Black people like high maternal mortality and cancer rates, RFK continues to peddle the same misinformation that causes these phenomena to exist. 

Additionally, RFK offers no real solution to the health crises we face in modern day America. Instead of addressing the fact that most Americans are too busy at office jobs to focus on healthy lifestyles, live in food deserts where affordable fresh fruits and vegetables are hard to come by, outdoor spaces where exercise is encouraged are often too far out of reach and individuals are becoming more isolated from society, RFK and the MAHA movement take the opportunity to grift even more. They tout their overpriced natural sweeteners like Agave and refined coconut sugar as alternatives to high fructose corn syrup, conveniently failing to mention the kickbacks they get after sponsoring them. Despite MAHA’s lies, these “healthy” alternatives often have the same effect on blood sugar levels and are certainly not any sort of cure to diabetes. 

Lastly, RFK’s solution to our mental health issues in the United States, is the construction of wellness farms, which sound frighteningly similar to the camps Germany built in the 1940s to contain disabled people. RFK believes Americans with ADHD and depression should be forced to work outdoors in these farms, and that through this, they will find the cure to their mental ailments and be free of their drug prescriptions. Yet there is, once again, very little evidence that says manual labor helps alleviate mental disorders or substance abuse. 

It’s hard to believe that MAHA has any true allegiance to the wellbeing of the American people. They often spout disinformation about health and advocate for defunding scientific research. With RFK Jr. at the helm of our biggest health agency in the country, who knows what the future will hold.

Bibles, Budgets, and Blunders: Oklahoma’s Superintendent vs. The US Constitution

By Hannah You 

Imagine walking into a public school classroom and finding not just textbooks and lesson plans but a government-mandated Bible on every desk. What if, instead, it were a Torah? A Quran? The Bhagavad Gita? This is the reality that Oklahoma’s superintendent envisions for its K-12 students—a policy to shift schools away from centers of knowledge and into spaces of religious indoctrination. 

Ryan Walters, Oklahoma Superintendent of Public Instruction, has initiated a mandate to distribute Bibles for teachers to develop public school classroom lesson plans for grades 5 through 12. Approving up to $6 million in taxpayer funds for the leather, Trump-endorsed Bibles, Walters claims that understanding biblical principles is essential for understanding American history and should be in AP Government classrooms as a fundamental document next to the Constitution, the Declaration of Independence, and the Bill of Rights. However, his initiative has faced criticism and lawsuits from educators, parents, and religious leaders, who assert that the mandate violates the First Amendment and alienates students of different faiths. 

All in all, Superintendent Walters’ mandate to include Bibles in public schools is an unconstitutional and moral overstep that exploits taxpayer funds in one of the nation’s worst education systems, all while relying on Walters’s baseless, unprovable claims filled with loaded language and personal attacks.

The First Amendment draws a line between church and state, one that has protected these institutions for over two centuries; Walters’ mandate doesn’t just blur that line; it erases it completely. The Establishment Clause of the First Amendment ensures that “Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion” (US Const. amend. I). In other words, the Constitution mandates that laws cannot be passed that force a religion or religious doctrine upon the public. By making the use of these bibles mandatory in public classroom lessons, Walters creates a state-sponsored requirement for one specific religion to be incorporated into lessons without consideration of any other religious belief. 

Unsurprisingly, this unconstitutional mandate has sparked legal action. In October 2024, 32 Oklahoma parents, teachers, and faith leaders filed a lawsuit against Walters, arguing that the policy infringes on constitutional protections and families’ rights. Erica Wright, president of the Oklahoma Rural Schools Coalition and public school parent who signed the suit, explains that “The lawsuit is really about putting a stop to this unconstitutional mandate that violates the Oklahoma Constitution…as a mother and a devout Christian, that it is solely the responsibility of myself and my husband to make all decisions regarding when and how our children engage with the Bible and its religious teachings” (Humphrey). Wright’s point is that Walters’ Bible mandate encroaches on the Constitution, because under the First Amendment, religious instruction should be a personal family decision, not a state-imposed requirement. Ultimately, what is at stake here is the integrity of constitutional rights, the neutrality of public education, and the right to make personal decisions about religious instruction without government interference.

In response to this lawsuit, Walters counters protesters’ arguments with the claims that “Oklahomans will not be bullied by out-of-state, radical leftists who hate the principles our nation was founded upon…I will never back down to the woke mob, no matter what tactic they use to try to intimidate Oklahomans” (Humphrey). Here, Walters suggests that those who oppose his position are “bullies” and outsiders who have come to antagonize the people of Oklahoma with their “radical” and “woke” views. What Walters fails to recognize is that his reliance on loaded language, hyperbole, and personal affront attacks on those who disagree with him is that he himself lacks a fact-based coherent argument to support his claim that the inclusion of Bibles in public school classrooms does not violate the Establishment clause of the Constitution. Indeed, his contention that those who oppose him “hate the principle our nation founded upon” contradicts the very First Amendment argument of those with whom he disagrees. In plain terms, how can his opponents both “hate the Constitution” and argue that something is against the Constitution?  How can they hate the very thing they want to follow?

 In fact, Walters’ arguments are speculative at best and collapse under the weight of reality, as he continues to defend, “It is not possible for our students to understand American history and culture without understanding the Biblical principles from which they came,” claiming that the removal of the Bible from schools since the 1960s has contributed to educational decline (Humphrey). Firstly, this claim is inherently unprovable—there is no way to confirm that understanding American history is impossible without Biblical teachings. Equally important, to claim that since the removal of the Bible from schools in the 1960s, no scholars have been able to properly interpret American history is irrational and false. Countless constitutional scholars and national leaders have emerged since 1960 who demonstrate a profound understanding of American history and law. Supreme Court justices like Elena Kagan and Ketanji Brown Jackson—both born post-removal—have shaped the nation’s legal and cultural fabric. Walters’ assertion not only disregards this evidence but also uses unprovable claims with more loaded language and baseless rhetoric. 

Moreover, the $6 million price tag for Walters’ initiative is more than a fiscal choice; it’s a moral one. In a state ranked 49th in K-12 education, with underfunded public schools, overburdened teachers, and 20% of high school students not graduating on time, taxpayers are being exploited to fund a political and religious agenda instead of addressing the pressing needs of Oklahoma’s weak education system (“Oklahoma Rankings”). Furthermore, the chosen edition—the leather-backed, 60 dollars apiece, Trump-endorsed God Bless the U.S.A. Bible—raises concern over what truly is being valued: religion, education, or politics? As Edd Doerr, president of the American Humanist Association, points out, “Public schools serve a uniquely public function: the training of American citizens in an atmosphere free of parochial, divisive, or separatist influence of any sort” (Doerr). In making this comment, Doerr urges us to reflect on the fundamental purpose of public schools: to educate all students in an environment that remains impartial and free from polarizing partisan influences. This matters because Walters’ initiative directly contradicts this principle by imposing a religious and political agenda on public schools, creating a divisive ideology that undermines their role as neutral spaces for education and fosters exclusion rather than unity.

In conclusion, Superintendent Walters’ mandate to introduce Bibles into public schools is both unconstitutional and morally misguided, misusing taxpayer funds for a non-educational agenda while resting on weak arguments and inflammatory language to defend its validity. His mandate to include Bibles in public schools violates the constitutional separation of church and state, exploits taxpayer funds in an already struggling education system, and imposes a narrow religious perspective in an open space. 

Instead of pursuing divisive and legally questionable initiatives, efforts should prioritize increasing funding for public education, supporting teachers, and holding leaders accountable to ensure educational priorities remain focused on fairness, equity, and excellence. While these may appear to be lofty federal goals, meaningful change begins locally and can start with you—by voicing concerns to local representatives, establishing programs or clubs that respect and benefit all students regardless of their beliefs, and engaging in discussions that highlight the importance of neutrality in public institutions. Ensuring a fair, inclusive, and constitutional education system is a fight worth fighting for—a necessary pursuit for the well-being of all students.

The Fight Over January 6th History

By Hank Bartholomew

On the morning of January 6, 2021, an as-of-yet unidentified group of people began the construction of a small wooden structure on Capitol grounds. A wooden platform, two main pillars, and a crossbar were assembled. A few hours later, this platform rode the surge of rioters storming the home of American democracy. Added to this structure was a small wooden rope. A gallows had been completed. Its intended occupant was the vice president of the free world.

January 6th has come, at least for many, to symbolize the Trump presidency. Over the last four years, it has become a rallying point for critics. But now, with Donald Trump back in office, a war to preserve the history of the Capitol Insurrection may be on the horizon.

At around twelve P.M on the day of the insurrection, President Donald Trump delivered a speech to supporters near the White House. At this time, it had become clear that Trump had lost the 2020 election to Joe Biden. But for the last few months, the president had been claiming that the election was “rigged” and a “sham,” disputing the results. “We will never give up,” proclaimed the most powerful man in America. “We will never concede.”

At around 1:00 PM, Trump ended his remarks, concluding, “We’re going to the Capitol. We’re going to try and give them [Republicans] the kind of pride and boldness that they need to take back our country.”

His supporters took these remarks to heart. Ordinary citizens and extremist group members alike stormed the symbol of American democracy, assaulting police officers and chanting death threats. Their intention was to overturn the legitimate democratic process. 

Four years later, the memory of January 6th has faded. New issues and news now occupy us. But with the incoming administration, there have been efforts to change the narrative surrounding January 6th, to repaint the assault as a patriotic demonstration. 

On his first day back in office, one of Donal Trump’s first actions was to pardon over 1,500 of the January 6th rioters. While certainly legal, this action is incredibly disturbing. A pardon is intended to commute the sentence of an individual wrongly imprisoned. Those pardoned are supposed to be victims of unfair persecution or targeting, people who deserve not to be punished. But those who stormed the capital on January 6th did commit a crime. Regardless of which side one falls on the political spectrum, that is an undeniable fact. Insurrectionists smashed windows and broke down doors. They vandalized the offices of congressional leaders and stole possessions. A capitol police officer, lying imobile on the ground, was beaten with a flag pole. Insurrectionists attacked police officers, slamming them into doors and engaging in fistfights. Capitol police officer Sgt. Aquilino Gonell, during testimony to Congress, vividly described how, “”My fellow officers and I were punched, kicked, shoved, sprayed with chemical irritants by a violent mob.” These are crimes. Regardless of whether their motivations were just or not, these are federal felonies. That much can not be disputed.

The point is that these individuals did commit a crime. By pardoning them, Trump has, for all purposes, proclaimed their innocence. And that is a grave mistake. Labeling beating law enforcement officers as legitimate and legal sets a precedent that such actions are acceptable. By pardoning January 6th rioters, Donald Trump has declared that violently assaulting American democracy is okay. It takes little imagination to see what could happen next.

Furthermore, the new president’s language is incredibly concerning. Throughout various interviews, America’s forty-seventh president has described the January 6th rioters as “political prisoners” and “patriots.” Such language is deeply disturbing. While it is possible these people were patriots–meaning they truly believed their actions were in the best interest of America–labeling these individuals as “political prisoners” is dangerous. Whether the justice system is flawed or not is entirely a different debate, but these people unequivocally committed a crime. Fox News and MSNBC alike broadcasted the same images to a shocked American public on that fateful day. We all saw the same thing. Our duty now is to provide, to our future generations, an accurate representation of what happened.

For evidence of these claims, look no further than the two most high-profile individuals pardoned by Donald Trump: Henry Tarrio and Stewart Rhodes. Tarrio was found with a six-page plan and manifesto declaring how the Proud Boys, a militia group that has white supremacy ties, would storm a variety of government institutions if Trump was not reinstated as president in 2020. Rhodes, the leader of the Oathkeepers, a para-military movement that has ties to ant-semetic movements, led a group of his followers to Washington, where they stashed a cache of weapons in a D.C. hotel.

I mention these examples not to criticize the former president or his supporters. I simply mention them to remind ourselves that these are criminals. These are acts of seditious conspiracy. As defined by the statute 18 U.S.C. § 2384, seditious conspiracy occurs “if two or more persons in any State or Territory, or in any place subject to the jurisdiction of the United States, conspire to overthrow, put down, or to destroy by force the Government of the United States, or to levy war against them, or to oppose by force the authority thereof, or by force to prevent, hinder, or delay the execution of any law of the United States, or by force to seize, take, or possess any property of the United States contrary to the authority thereof.” This statute has existed since 1948. It is not arbitrary. It is not a weapon of the Biden administration. It is a law meant to protect our nation. And Henry Tarrio and Stewart Rhodes, as well as innumerable other January 6th rioters, broke the law. They did try to “delay the execution of” a United States law–namely, the confirmation of Joe Biden as president. This is a crime. Labeling these individuals as anything other than criminals is inaccurate.

The purpose of this article is not to analyze the actions on January 6th. The American legal system has done its part with regard to the issue. Our bureaucracy has, for right or wrong, decided who is innocent or guilty. That is what it is. Maybe some feel Donald Trump’s actions were seditious. Maybe some believe the January 6th rioters should never have been prosecuted. But our government’s job is to make those determinations for us. And they have. We must accept what they say, or we have no government at all.

But what we can not accept is the removal of January 6th from our history. 

In a democracy, it is our job to provide the public with facts, and then allow the public to make their own conclusions based on those facts. If we do not give ourselves the true facts to make those decisions, then our democracy truly is a sham.

Congress Approves Funding for Death Star

By Jessica A. Dennehy

In an unprecedented move, Congress has passed a bill that officially approves funding for the MAGA Death Star. The bill, which ran over 10,000 pages, was reportedly drafted overnight by a coalition of defense contractors, interstellar lobbyists, and overzealous Reddit users. Tucked inside an emergency infrastructure proposal titled “The American Jobs, Bridges, and Definitely Not a Superweapon Act,” the bill was passed in a historic 421-14 vote.  Members of both parties supported the measure after being promised their own personalized laser cannons and a free annual pass to the Death Star’s all-you-can-eat buffet. Apparently the gold-encrusted caviar is out of this world!

 In a released statement following the bill’s passing, Speaker of the House Mike Johnson defended the rationale for the Death Star decision:  “Quite Frankly, our nukes are getting dusty, and it’s about time for an upgrade. Having a MAGA Death Star in orbit is the perfect way to show America’s enemies that we mean business. Also, this is a great way to stimulate the economy. We’re going to need thousands of jobs filled—scientists, engineers, and even poets.” 

 The Death Star will be a joint venture between NASA, SpaceX, the Department of Defense, and an undisclosed collection of wealthy individuals who definitely have America’s best interests at heart. Expected to cost approximately $17.3 trillion, this project has already been funded through the repurposing of the entire national education budget for the next five years. The Death Star will be constructed over the next decade and will serve both as a space-based military deterrent and as a lavish orbital getaway for the country’s political elite. Preliminary blueprints reveal a plethora of state-of-the-art features, including Reagan-era space lasers, a deep-space Waffle House, and a non-exploding escape pod option exclusively for billionaires.

Meanwhile, the Galactic Empire has reportedly filed a copyright lawsuit against the U.S. government, claiming that the MAGA Death Star is a direct rip-off of their patented Death Star design. Their lawyers argue that the station’s design is an almost exact replica of their own, down to the unnecessarily vulnerable thermal exhaust port. Elon Musk, whose company SpaceX is involved in the MAGA Death Star’s development, dismissed the allegations as “ludicrous and untrue.” When asked by the press for further clarity, as the design is very much a knockoff, Musk rebuked that “it’s not a Death Star, it’s a dark gothic MAGA Death Star.” Despite Elon’s shenanigans, however, to mitigate legal fees,  the Pentagon has announced it is hiring Hollywood writers to come up with a more “original” space station aesthetic—one that will have “zero design flaws.”

Trump Signs an Executive Order Prohibiting the Use of Gravity

By Charlie Levin

On Thursday, March 27, Donald Trump signed an executive order banning US use of gravity.

According to the US Supreme Court, which ruled on Sunday (6 to 3), gravity is now illegal. It will be a federal crime under the 28th Amendment, recently ratified by every state but Hawaii. It passed the legislature unanimously. 

In a press conference held at Mar-a-Lago, followed by a rant on Truth Social at 3:51 PM, Donald Trump talked about how this is in the best interest of the country. “Gravity is dead. It is a waste of dollars and money. We did this for many reasons with regard to space and concerning lasers. DOGE is doing what it is supposed to do. America is the best. You know, we do great, great things. They’re eating the cats.”

The benefit of this new law is this: SpaceX rockets can actually get to space now without exploding. 

Elon Musk, according to a White House correspondent, woke up one night in the Oval Office. After a weird dream, he decided that a government regulation had to be created and enforced for SpaceX to make more money. He drafted the executive order, with Trump promptly signing it the next day.

“SpaceX will be better. We are going to Mars next week,” Musk said, wearing an MSXGA (Make SpaceX Great Again) hat. “Mars is new territory where we can test out new unconstitutional practices.” 

Unrelatedly, Tesla stock went down by 400% in the biggest stock market dive since the last Tesla one a few weeks ago.